How far will you run?
by notawordsmith
Summary: Set after his goodbyes in New Moon.  Edward knows he can't stay near Bella, but just how far will he run?  Possibly a one shot, would love some reviews.


A/N :This takes place after Edward leaves Bella in New Moon. I always wondered what Edward was thinking and he graciously allowed me a sneak peek into such a nasty time. First Fan Fic, I hope it's not too atrocious. Fame or blame, I'd still love to hear your thoughts.

P.S. Characters are not my own, I just enjoy being Edwards dirty little mistress. ;oP

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**How far will you run?**

A heart wrenching howl split the night. It flew down the staircase, rattled the windowpanes and twisted the hearts of everyone in the living room. All eyes looked to Alice as she sighed pitifully and switched off the television.

"They're screaming again." she said with a doleful whisper.

Emmett plonked himself beside her on the couch and gave her a brotherly punch, igniting a flash of anger in Jasper.

"You know you're supposed to keep your thoughts to yourself." Emmett teased playfully. "Edward told you not to mess in Bella's head."

"I can't help it." Alice whined in frustration. "He took away my friend too, when he_ lied _to her and ditched her in the forest, the idiot."

" I _would_ say he deserves what he gets." Rosalie responded as she gracefully sank into Emmett's lap. She snuggled into her husband's protective arms and whispered, "But he doesn't deserve this. No one deserves this."

Esme left them to their bickering as she flew up the stairs to Edward's room, pausing only briefly to land a knowing kiss on Carlise cheek. Carlise returned her kiss with a touch of his hand, and his gaze followed her up the stairs. He shook his head sadly and returned his attention to the others. Broken human hearts he knew how to fix. Broken vampire hearts? He knew nothing.

_This has to end_. He thought to himself. _They're tearing each other apart_.

Edward's mother hesitated in front of his door, unsure of what to do, frightened not only for her son, but for herself as well, as she was not sure she could handle the grief in his eyes. She knocked softly, politely giving Edward a chance to compose himself. She was greeted with silence.

There was a monster behind the door, she was sure of it, but nothing could prepare her for the shock as she pushed back Edward's door. Lying in a pool of broken Cd's and destroyed furniture was her son, his body wracked with agony, raw with pain. The scarlet monsters of blood lust or anger she knew all too well, but this black monster was new to her and far more terrifying. This was the monster of severed love, of love once known and lost. This monster toyed with Edward's affections and mind, raking him over his decisions like a torturer plying his deadly trade. Another bloodcurdling scream escaped from his pale blue lips.

Esme flew to his side, her presence a whirl of soft white light in this dark and dangerous place. She tentatively brushed the splinters from his hair, her mind filled with his sadness and misery. Tenderly she cradled him in her arms, stroking his hair lovingly and waited for his silent sobbing to end.

"Oh my child." She sighed, her sweet voice, a counterpoint his dark despair. "My dear, dear, Edward. You do not have to do this you know. You could go back to her. It would be ok."

Her words were like a bolt of electricity and he flew from her arms to the furtherest corner of the room in shock.

"No!" he said, shaking his head to gather the thoughts in his tattered mind. "I can't do that to her. If I leave, she is safe. I'm no good for her! No harm can come to her if I'm not around, no one will want her..."

The realisation of that last thought struck him like a thunderbolt and brought him to his knees. His skin flamed with the ache of her last touch, his memories of the tears that fell from her horror filled eyes as he struggled through his goodbye gouged him cruelly. The need for her burned brighter than any thirst for her blood; so badly did he want to go back to her room, to sweep her into his stony embrace and tell her it was all a lie. To be selfish and have her always, if she would still have him. But she wouldn't want him, not now. He laughed bitterly at his own private joke._ No one would want her? _He wanted her so very much.

Esme started towards him, but he held his hand up in refusal. "No, mom." His lips smiled slightly at the words. "I'll be ok. Bella will be ok. This pain is my own now. She's free."

Panic and confusion widened Esme's eyes. Did he not know? Had he not seen Alice's visions? Edward read her thoughts and sprinted to his mother's side. He held her more roughly than he should and probed deeply into her mind. "ALICE!" he roared as he tore out of his room and thundered down the stairs. Brothers and sister alike formed a protective barrier around Alice as she sat serenely on the couch. Carlise stood nearby, muscles tensed and ready.

Edward balked at the collective gathering, but his eyes spat fire as he glared at Alice. "What can you see?" he demanded.

"About what?" she replied with mock innocence.

"Y'know you told Alice to stay out of Bella's future." Emmett butted in, trying to diffuse the bomb that was Edward. "We thought you wouldn't want to know."

"Know WHAT!" Edward roared, his patience already blown.

"Bella has nightmares. She screams in the night when you do." said Alice looking away. "We didn't want to hurt you any further, Edward, so we didn't say."

Edward punched his way into Alice's vision. She winced at the force, but let him continue. He saw himself standing at the foot of Bella's bed, her bedsheets in disarray, her hands grasping at her pillow like she was trying to hold onto something, or someone.

Bella's hands suddenly grabbed the pillow with all their might and she cried out Edward's name frantically. The mask of pain that spilled across her face crushed Edward deeply. He watched in terror as her mouth twisted in a grimace, her beautiful ruby red lips parted grotesquely screamed.

He tumbled out of Alice's vision, the same mournful scream on his own.

Edward palled, his face draining of what little colour he had left. He rushed up the stairs, disgusted with himself, ashamed of his lies and selfishness. Was he so wrapped up in himself that he had forgotten to notice other peoples thoughts? Had he messed up his angel Bella's mind so badly that his every scream wracked her with pain? He felt nothing but damnation and hatred for his monstrous self, to inflict such cruelty on her perfection even from afar. He knew what he had to do.

"Where are you going?" asked Carlise as he watched his son stuff a few possessions into a bag.

"I have to go." was Edwards curt reply. "I have to get far enough away that I can't hurt her anymore."

"But my son, where will you run to?" pleaded his father. "Where will be far enough away?"

"I don't know." sighed Edward, his rational thoughts slowly returning. "But wherever it is, I will find it. I owe Bella at least that much."

Carlise sighed despondently and handed Edward a small black phone. As Edward took it his father embraced his hands warmly.

"You know this is going to upset your mother and siblings?" he chided gently.

"I know." Eyes threatening to spill dry tears looked up at his father. "Can you forgive me for being so cowardly?"

"Cowardly?" Carlise looked surprised as he tasted the word in his mouth. "Son, I think you are the strongest vampire amongst us. Even stronger than me."

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**Looks like this is going to be a one shot wonder and I'm sorry about that. After I wrote this the Edward in my brain pitched a fit and made me rewrite it from his POV. It's in the works and should come out in a day or two. Emmett has a funny story to tell as well, but he'll just have to get in line and wait for another day.**

_**Awwww don't pout Emmett baby, you know we all still love you.**_

**Curse my over active imagination.**


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